Yesterday I met with the Toyo Girls+ICX newbie. We went to Osaka for a Kyoto pasta special. The dinner quickly broke into separate gender conversations. I talked with the male ICX newbie about cars and racing; the girls talked about ... whatever it is that girls seem to talk about for ages. One of the gals came up with the great idea of putting together a mini-AIESEC newspaper specifically about Toyo's traineeship. Obviously, I would have to be at least a small center-piece to an article. We started talking about AIESEC, and then, gender differences.
The girls decided to ask me(for the paper, of course ;-) ),"What is the difference between American and Japanese women?" ...... LOADED QUESTION .....
My answer: NOTHING. That's right, there is no difference between American and Japanese women. They act the same. They worry about the same things. They always wear what is fashionable at the specific time and place. They have the same insecurities. I could not think of one difference.
On the other hand, I made some comments on how I thought Japanese and American men were different. The girls thought all of this was preposterous, but had many a laugh trying to understand what I was saying.
Here's my short list of the things that make me, a pretty average American male, different than the average Japanese male:
1. I don't wear a purse. I still have no idea what they carry in these things.
2. I don't flick my wrist limply back and forth to fan myself in public, whether the hand is including a pretty fan or not. I HAVE done this in Japan, but it felt really weird.
3. I don't carry an umbrella everywhere I go. It does rain at least 70% of the time, but the amount of time you are outside without something already above your head is less than 2%. My house is 500 ft from the train station and the restaurant is attached to the next station. No one could understand why I didn't carry an umbrella. 500 FEET!!!
Now, I'm not saying any of this is bad; it's just different. These are the 3 hardest things for me to adjust to in being a male in Japan. OK, now I would like to lay down the next possible difference between Japan and America.
Japanese people are MORE COMPETETIVE than Americans. Honestly. In America, because of all the 'macho men' there are many that counter this competetive attitude. Not in Japan. Everyday at every break, every lunch, every everything, the Japanese play Junke(Rock, Paper, Scissors). I have never seen such exuberance at such a simple game. You have to see their faces; it's like the person just had a hernia, an appendectomy, and a colonoscopy all at the same time. And everyone remembers how everyelse has done for the last forever. It's craziness.
The girls decided to ask me(for the paper, of course ;-) ),"What is the difference between American and Japanese women?" ...... LOADED QUESTION .....
My answer: NOTHING. That's right, there is no difference between American and Japanese women. They act the same. They worry about the same things. They always wear what is fashionable at the specific time and place. They have the same insecurities. I could not think of one difference.
On the other hand, I made some comments on how I thought Japanese and American men were different. The girls thought all of this was preposterous, but had many a laugh trying to understand what I was saying.
Here's my short list of the things that make me, a pretty average American male, different than the average Japanese male:
1. I don't wear a purse. I still have no idea what they carry in these things.
2. I don't flick my wrist limply back and forth to fan myself in public, whether the hand is including a pretty fan or not. I HAVE done this in Japan, but it felt really weird.
3. I don't carry an umbrella everywhere I go. It does rain at least 70% of the time, but the amount of time you are outside without something already above your head is less than 2%. My house is 500 ft from the train station and the restaurant is attached to the next station. No one could understand why I didn't carry an umbrella. 500 FEET!!!
Now, I'm not saying any of this is bad; it's just different. These are the 3 hardest things for me to adjust to in being a male in Japan. OK, now I would like to lay down the next possible difference between Japan and America.
Japanese people are MORE COMPETETIVE than Americans. Honestly. In America, because of all the 'macho men' there are many that counter this competetive attitude. Not in Japan. Everyday at every break, every lunch, every everything, the Japanese play Junke(Rock, Paper, Scissors). I have never seen such exuberance at such a simple game. You have to see their faces; it's like the person just had a hernia, an appendectomy, and a colonoscopy all at the same time. And everyone remembers how everyelse has done for the last forever. It's craziness.
posted by Bruhaha at 8:35 AM
12 Comments:
So you would approach a Japanese woman the same way you would approach an American? I'd like to hear a woman's answer to this question.
Actually, I have asked this very question to the girls. Japanese femal complaint: Guys are shy; don't be shy. I believe this is the same feeling in the US, if I'm not mistaken. (Big fuckin' fangs)
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I was more saying that for differences between Japanese and American women...I find it pretty hard to believe that there are no differences.
they all look the same to me
Difference between Japanese girls and American girls... Hm...
Japanese girls cover their mouths when laughing (heard: 'tee hee') and react 10x's as much to most things (oh wait, that's Japanese men too).
American girls seem to mature faster (see: highschool borederline dresscodes). If you take an American 16-year-old girl and a Japanese 16-year-old girl, they appear quite different (note: there are outlier groups in Japan such as the Gothic-Lolita fashion and Ko-gal sect that doesn't reflect the entire population).
Different is not bad, but I definitely think that there is a big cultural difference that runs between the US and Japan. I dunno - that's how I feel, having grown up in both cultures.
Thanks for the comments all. I know there are cultural differences including the fact that Japanese women go to great lengths to not let the sun touch a single square inch of their skin and Americans go through great pains to blacken theirs, but in my mind, these are not differences. In both cases, women tend to go towards their cultural norm and what is most popular. I guess I'm just saying that people are inherently the same, no matter what culture you are raised in.
I just find it surprising that women tend to amplify the little differences more than men. Read Mix's above comment. Yes, all women are unique, but how much?
oh gimme a break Bruni, then I could say that all the differences you listed are not really differences, they are just men doing what is socially expected and accepted of them. While true, it's a bit of an obvious point, don't you think? and it leaves out some interesting tid bits about how the culture and what is socially accepted by that culture is different from our own. I don't think pointing out differences is necessarily a bad thing...
but neither is pointing out how much they parallel one another
A litttttle questionable:
Bruni, you only mentioned on the surface differences, fashion trends (you also mentioned "insecuritie"s while referencing women, but that's vague and loaded so I'm just going to ignore it for now) while it may be true that fashion trends are a similarity in the two parts of the world (although a bit of a generalization to say that ALL women are mainly concerned with fashion), I think that is just skin deep. Differences in culture are probably deeper, but perhaps more subtle than the obvious trendy jeans, cute tops, and prada bags...But then again, I've never been to Japan, so maybe I'm way off?
Side note: how long are you there for? perhaps we can meet up when I am in HK??
Okay, there's really only one race: the human race. (I think that was some cheesy comment made by a smartass aiesecer).
But... I think we're missing some things beneath the tip of the iceberg (haha) if you make that generalization.
Case in point: sexual morality.
Somehow, I think that there is more of a social guideline to American sexual education (although ppl complain there isn't enough), than the Japanese "it's too embarrassing so we'll completely ignore the youth's libido" attitude.
Repression and social tabooness has created a whole new generation of kids who learn about sex from comic books, TV dramas, and porn. There are also guys in their 20's who go to prostitutes, and they have girlfriends. Not only that, there are husbands who frequent the red light district and housewives who call up phone sex services during the day. And it's considered "acceptable," if not to the point of "normal."
Ah - the point I was making? Sexual morality has a different set of standards and metrics in the land of the rising sun. I think fantasies and hyperbolated sexual acts are closer to reality in Japan, because nobody talks about sex except in the deepest darkest private spheres.
I doubt that you would get a straight answer from your peers, but if you can delve into the private lives of the culture, you may find the deeper differences. (it may be easier to ask a Japanese guy what he thinks about sex and relationships). Personally, I find it sometimes conflicting and difficult to justify my decisions, being a girl growing up in a Japanese household (my parents still blush at sex scenes on TV, yet we read hardboil novels which are borederline softporn) and living in the US.
But in the end of the day, everyone is different. I'm just stating some extremes, so I guess the repressed-yet-sex-crazy-Japanese is not a good generalization.
I'm agreeing with Sakit. I was trying to say that there really aren't simple out in the open differences between American and Japanese women. So they seem the same to me. Since I'm a guy, it's easier to notice the little differences between males. I wrote the post as more of a plea, asking if anyone knew of any. Right now, on the surface, Japanese women and American women seem the same to me.
I have found out about the cheating etc. A fellow trainee warned me, but I wasn't sure how big it was. Then in my mailbox, I got a handout that said something about hiring a private detective. I brought it to work and my Japanese lesson and everyone was surprised.
Should I write a new post, cause this is getting long?
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